I'm a ticking bomb

Going to the airport is always a stressful situation. Bags, fees, time limits, weight limits, security and over priced water bottles are never fun. I have had many adventures at airports. I have a handful of good airport stories up my sleeve, and the adventure I had today is definitely worth sharing.

I took the Van Nuys Flyaway over to LAX today to the wrong terminal. This whole airlines owning like 7 other airlines located in other terminals is really confusing. So I had the Asian lady with a very thick, very difficult to understand accent, from Delta airlines tell me to take th.e "A" bus over from terminal 6 to terminal 3. Okay great! What is the "A" bus and where do I wait for it? Apparently, in case you are at LAX, there is a blue sign that says LAX SHUTTLE SERVICE. Take bus "A" and it will go to every terminal. You're welcome.

Moving on. I check into Alaska Airlines which took nine million years. I start going through security and see that they are making everyone go through the x-ray machine. Ok, I really do not see how this machine can be safe for my body. I was just observing and soaking in this situation, and it reminded me of the chemical DDT. DDT was the coolest thing back in the day. People used it all the time and it was considered safe. Just like how the TSA is using this x-ray machine. DDT ended up killing people and causing birth defects. I don't want to be a victim of stupid airport security, and have my kids born with 3 heads.

I get to the front and ask one of the TSA dudes if that machine is safe for my ovaries. He asked if I was pregnant and I said no, but I am afraid the x-ray is going to ruin my unborn babies. I told him I want kids later, but I don't want them to be born retarded because I went through this machine. He then replied in his ghetto accent: "well if it does cause birth defects, my kids will be more retarded than yours cause I'm.here everyday." Good point! Poor guy.

He said I could opt out and do a pat down instead. I agreed to do this. Big mistake...

The girl who felt me up was really cool. I explained to her as her hands were investigating my croch, that the x-ray machine makes me nervous for my ovaries. She agreed with me. I then asked if its safe. She said it is supposedly safe for pregnant women, but then added "but who knows for sure". Well that's great!

She then got this small paper and rubbed it all over her gloves and put it in this machine to check for bomb residue. The alarm went off... Great... What the hell am I covered with? Idk what could have set it off. So now the supervisor had to.come.and super frisk me. She did the paper and the alarm set off again. So now she had to search and paper thingy all my belongings. I am freaking out now. I'm thinking I am not going to make it to D.C.

She is going through my things when she then finds my bag of cash. I was doing a favor for work by bringing some money to pay the car dealer guys. So now I got this woman looking at me like why the hell do I have all this cash. She is looking at me like I'm a prostetute or drug dealer. She then asked how much was in there and what I do for a living and why I have this money. Oye. It was a mess. She is suspicious of this cash, the machine says I smell like bomb, my flight is boarding and I have to pee.

The supervisor's supervisor is then called. Two white guys come up to us, she explains the situation and asks if I am clear to go. Then one of the dudes is flirting with her and making her giggle and crap. Meanwhile, I'm screaming in my head : ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??? CLEAR ME DAMMIT! Stop wasting time!!!" After watching 3 min of pointless interactions between these two, I am cleared. Yes!

I use the bathroom and then spot a Starbucks. Yes! I buy a sandwich which ends up costing 9 dollars. Really??

So, now the question remains: are those x-ray machines safe for reproductive.systems?? Should I just go through it and not get violated in public again?

I don't think I will risk it. I want normal healthy babies.
I guess the public violations will.continue.