Fashion Shows

So a few weeks ago, I had a casting for an underwear fashion show. We arrived at the casting room and it was full of models. Now, being in one room for a casting is the worst. Models are mean and judgmental and we all compare ourselves to each other. Which basically means, everyone is talkin shit. We all have different bodies. Some are thicker than others while some look so thin, it looks like their legs are going to break off.
The agency told us to wear a bathing suit, which I did. Oh but no, at the casting they gave us underwear to change into. This is gross. I had to wear lingerie that a model 2 min before was wearing... with out my own underwear underneath because I was wearing a bathing suit. Sweet. STD check when I get home...

As we waited our turn, the American girl and I got to "comparing". We watched some girls in envy as we looked at others like, Girl! What are you doing here? And they were Elite models! And they were the most unfit. I couldn't believe it. I was then informed that Elite has now been franchised so any average Joe can join. Silly. We then giggled at the girls who had silly catwalks and sat in silence as we watched the really good ones. (Which were about 2 models... maybe 3) Then it was my turn to have my picture taken by the Ladyboy and do the catwalk. So I strutted my white girl booty (Aka. Jiggly Butt) down the runway and I got the job. Yay? So did a bunch or girls who I thought would never get chosen, including the one who looks like she's got a hunch back. So, should I be happy I was in the show? The show of rejects?

Fashion shows in Thailand are NOTHING like in the States. They are held in malls. Yes, I repeat, malls. For an American model, this is humiliating. But in Thailand, some of the biggest celebrities participate in these fashion shows at the mall. They are a big deal apparently.

Fashion shows are fun, but annoying for these reasons: When most of the other models are Russian, you want to die because they are loud and all you hear are rolling RrrrrRRrrRrrRrRrRrrrrrrrrrRRRR!!! Then you have a really early call time: 8am. Then you have rehearsal. Having a gay guy with a thick Thai accent telling how to walk is really hard to understand. Trust me. Then, you have to wait to get your hair and make-up done. There is food, but cheap Thai food that gives you gas. Not good for a lingerie fashion show. Then you have down time for about 3 hours, and you can't leave.

So this particular show was a week long. This is good cause you get paid for each day and it adds up. Granted it's in Baht and not like pay in the States... but it's better than 0.

So the first day, we had this celebrity singer who decided to sing "I'm bringing Sexy Back" By Justin Timberlake. The best part was, he didn't speak English. So he made up some jibberish words and it was just hysterical. I give him credit for being so passionate, but it was just so funny.


So, Then the girls had to walk down the runway, like in a Victoria's Secret show and try and seduce the singer and stuff. Cool idea.... It would be better if the singer sang the proper words. Whatever.

I have to say, the production designer of this show had some great ideas. Each day had a theme and they were trying to make this a very different fashion show. They pulled in famous Thai Djs, Actresses, models, Ladyboys (Yes, I saw a Ladyboy in a bikini.) and even dogs. One day was Lingerie, while I did another for swimwear and other clothes that show off my ASSets.

But in the end, even due to early morning calls and back home late, I had a good time and met some interesting people who spoke English! I even met an American guy from the East Coast. He had lots of muscles.

Can you spot the super white girl? Aka, me?

Some important Thai People

The massive lingerie sale that was going on around the runway

My next job was super interesting. It was a body painting job. I was given no detail whatsoever and I found out when I got there, it was for a TV show. I met the artist at a hotel near the model house. She was a tall woman from Bulgaria who spoke fluent English. So we chatted like crazy. I found that she is one of the most famous body painters in the world. She has won award after award and is participating in the world competition in Thailand. (I won't mention her name as I do not have her consent, at this moment) But basically, she is a pro and it was honor and a privilege to be painted by her.

Body painting is not easy, let me tell you. My knees were killing me after standing for 6 hours straight... of standing completely still... I had to ask her if I could walk around the room so my knees would stop aching. But it was so worth it.

She was getting irritated because they kept trying to film her working and vistors kept coming in. She was interviewed by the newspaper and the executive came in for a chat. When he found I was from America, he was very interested and talked more. I found he studied in NYU and then moved to Missouri University. His English was good, but his accent was hard to overcome. None the less, I showed how interested I was in Thailand and the fruits and culture. We talked about LA and compared notes. He was really cool. Then he told me more about this TV show we were going to be on. It was going to be in front of a live audience and it's the most famous show is Thailand. It has been on air for 23 years. That's my entire lifespan! I was like oooo get me a job here. I like working in entertainment. After hearing him tell me about this show and how famous it is, I felt pretty good that I was going to be a guest. I can't wait to see the episode.

So, the Bulgarian artist then finally finished painting and we made our way to the stage. Everyone looked at me in awe. People petted me and were just stunned. I have to admit, I looked pretty cool.

Here is one thing every model needs: A space blanket. Even though it's 90 degrees here, the AC makes it feel like it's winter. Being practically naked, this sucked and luckily, the Bulgarian had a space blanket and I was SO much warmer. I was put back stage waiting to be called. I looked around, checking out the catwalks and all the equipment for the show. I noticed all the equipment was from America. Interesting...

I was called onstage and was greeted by two Thai models and the audience went wild. It was crazy! I walked across and showed off my painted bod and made my way to the MCs. I was also greeted by Thailands famous comedy group. They then made jokes about me but I have no idea what they said. I just stood there like dum dee dum. I didn't know what to do and I caught myself looking off in the distance or looking down at myself. Way to go Jess... lol

Then the Bulgarian came on with the translator. I was not expecting anyone to talk to me, but the comedy group wanted to know where I was from. I said my name and I'm from Los Angeles. They had no idea what I said. Then I heard "blah blah blah something Thai blah blah !!! O!!! LA! LA!" They figured it out.

Then the comedians touched my body and looked at me in wonder and amazement. Then one comedian came up to me, shook my hand and said "I love you". After everyone broke up into laughter, the show was over and I went straight to the shower. The artist had to put clay in my hair to be able to paint it the colors she wanted. So my hair was as hard as a rock. But there was one problem- No hot water. Finally, after 30 min of trying every shower in the studio, I was put in the mens room, whose shower had luke warm water... I guess it was better than nothing.

Thai Breakfast. I have no idea what the stuff in the middle is. I asked, no one knew how to tell me in English. They were like coconut muffins or something.

The supplies

It took forever to get the paint off me and out of my ears. I'm still finding paint on my scalp. But, it was so worth it. I had a really awesome experience.